Finding the right cocktail
Four months ago I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder, bipolar type. At first I was devastated by the diagnosis. It did not sit well with me at all. But now that I am several months into medications, I am starting to feel better. That is, until I have to switch medications because of side effects. This is the third time since my diagnosis I have had my meds adjusted. And this is the third time I have suffered the roller coaster of withdrawals and side effects.
Finding the right cocktail is proving to be a tiresome and exhausting endeavor for me. This time, I am suffering from withdrawals. I stopped taking one antidepressant, and switched to another. Now I am feeling jittery, anxious and extremely irritable. And it is almost unbearable. Almost.
I do not know how long they will last this time, but I can only hope that the symptoms will pass soon. Not just for me, but for my family as well. Because they are the ones I lash out at. They are the ones who feel the full brunt of my side effects and withdrawal symptoms. My family are the ones who have to put up with me until I level out. I can only hope they are patient with me and they know how much I am struggling with it.
It is taking a toll on me but I am trying to stay strong because I know how much I need these medications. I see now how much they help me. And there is a marked improvement in my attitude, temper and my overall behavior. I can even tell a difference in how I think. However, sometimes I wonder how much more I can take. I have to stay strong until I find the right cocktail.
Hack the Stigma. Hack the Planet.
IamThePatRatt – The Bipolar Hacker.